Both sides of my family are conservative and working class. Throughout the years, many an anti-liberal, anti-intellectual, anti-Democratic-candidate email forward has landed unwelcome in my inbox. I try to keep the peace sometimes, but I resent when others feel complete freedom to make their views known to me while I’m told to just delete the email if I disagree. That makes no sense. After some years and a few in-depth and passionate email debates, I managed to be removed from people’s group lists, and I don’t much receive the stuff anymore. Occasionally, though, my mother will receive one so egregious that she passes it on to me, as misery does love company. Here is one she recently sent over to me, with my commentary following.
You Might Be a Redneck….a different take
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It’s time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I’d choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit — that’s what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya’ll know who ya’ll are.
You might be a redneck if:
1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, ‘One nation, under God.’
2. You’ve never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
3. You still say ‘ Christmas’ instead of ‘Winter Festival.’
4. You bow your head when someone prays.
5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
6. You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
7. You’ve never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
8. You know what you believe and you aren’t afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
9. You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
10. You’d give your last dollar to a friend.
If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.
God Bless the USA !
Keep the fire burning, redneck friend.
IF YOU DON’T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM
IN GOD WE TRUST
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Let’s deconstruct this, shall we?
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1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, ‘One nation, under God.’
…because rednecks believe that our country’s founders were escaping religious freedom and coming to America to establish a religious state? The phrase “under God” was added to the pledge of allegiance on June 14, 1954. Three days later, on June 17, freely elected president of Guatemala Jacobo Arbenz was overthrown in a coup orchestrated by our very own CIA. See, Arbenz’s proposed land reforms in his country would have threatened the operations of the United Fruit Company, which had close ties to the White House and the CIA. The phrase ‘under God’ offends me not just because it conflates religion with government, but because if we are going to amend the Pledge, it should more accurately/less hypocritically be changed to ‘one nation, under corporations, divisible, with liberty and justice for some.’ I suppose that the true lesson here is that rednecks value the individual liberties granted them by their country, but not similar rights for others in other countries.
2. You’ve never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
I’d rather people just followed the ten commandments than self-righteously prop them up for public view. Newsflash: Not all U.S. citizens are Christian, and the authors of the Constitution were careful to separate church and state. You obey a higher law? Fine, but 1) You probably don’t and 2) Display it on your own property (the one you don’t share with the rest of your state and country).
3. You still say ‘ Christmas’ instead of ‘Winter Festival.’
Talk about being offended by nothing. I assume that what the author meant to say is that as a redneck, you still say “Merry Christmas” rather than “Happy Holidays,” or you still call it “Christmas break” rather than “Winter break.” First of all, it takes a lot of sensitivity to be offended by the increasing popularity of an all-inclusive description or well-wish. Furthermore, you get to say whatever you want, and telling someone “Merry Christmas” is neither against the law nor will it bring a lawsuit upon you. If businesses decide to post banners that say “Happy Holidays,” it is because they do not wish to exclude a portion of their paying customers who do not celebrate Christmas. So shut up. Calling public school vacations “winter break” is smart. Not all U.S. citizens who pay taxes are Christian, so in summation, get the fuck over yourself.
4. You bow your head when someone prays.
You’re right, I refuse to bow my head 100% of the time. And I get it: rednecks are Christian and like to demonize, ostracize or criticize those who aren’t. And I will bow my head out of respect, depending on what the prayer is for.
5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
Okay, I get this, too. Rednecks are patriots. They love their country because it is godly and pure and disdain the rest of the world.
6. You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
Isn’t this becoming a bit redundant? Rednecks: you apparently believe that being pro-war equates with being pro-soldier, and that being anti-war means being anti-soldier, but motives for military service are evidence of character – some veterans are assholes, and some are awesome. Some join the armed forces to kill people – that I can’t respect. Some join with the intention of protecting freedom, and that I can though I think it a misguided motive. Some join because it was their best option to live a comfortable life – that I can respect while frustrated by a government and an economic system that preserves a reliable underclass to be “bodies on the ground.” I understand that those who are sent into wars are leaving home and loved ones, and that much sadness, pain and loneliness is endured as a result even if they do come home alive. It’s tragic, as is all sadness, pain, loneliness and loss.
7. You’ve never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
Burning an American flag is a form of free speech protected by the U.S. Constitution’s first amendment. Yes, you read that right–the first amendment. What’s incredible to me, though, is when the desecration of a symbol is seen as more despicable and disgusting than the destruction of human life–whether it’s burning a flag, tearing out pages of the Bible, burning the Koran, or publishing a portrayal of Mohammed. Destruction of spirit, flesh and bone is what should truly be maddening. We are the only animal that kills itself so well. What’s also incredible is that many Americans can passively accept that the American flag, as a symbol of the United States (citizens and government), ONLY represents goodness, and therefore its destruction is always a negative. However, as a symbol of such a varied landscape, it represents not only glory and freedom. The truth is that most people who choose to exercise their right to burn the flag do so to protest the ills perpetrated by our country, such as the documented and confirmed instances of active disregard for human rights and democracy, both at home and abroad – and in that case burning the flag is an act of righteousness. Careful that you’re not using the flag as a blindfold.
8. You know what you believe and you aren’t afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
…and no matter what the facts are, or better yet, what the truth is.
9. You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
It is healthy to question authority. It was authority that oversaw the fields, authority that legally sanctioned wife-beating, authority that taught the youth to call people ‘niggers.’ It is authority that sells corrupt military action and puts people in jail for growing pot. It is authority that suspended a Louisiana child from school for telling his classmate his mom is a lesbian. It was authority that beat and gassed the marchers in Selma. In our culture, increased age does not necessarily correspond with increased wisdom. If it did, it wouldn’t then be the young forces that so often have been behind the most momentous social progress of our history. Respect should be given by everyone, but it must be earned by everyone.
10. You’d give your last dollar to a friend.
What, are you putting it in her G-string?
If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.
God Bless the USA !
Keep the fire burning, redneck friend.
IF YOU DON’T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM
So because I’m opposed to war, I should be killed? I’m not following your logic. So far, your modern wars are not proving themselves to protect me or my freedom, and this affront is greatest to those who have trusted our nation’s military not to put them in harm’s way for no good reason. Your support for wasted military action is the ultimate disregard for our troops and the civilians who shall be killed.
IN GOD WE TRUST
So let me get this straight. From what I gather, your GOD drinks bud light, hates fags and Arabs and Muslims (or terrorists), flies the American flag (and the rebel flag) at HIS/HER place. GOD takes no issue with racism, economic injustice, or Americans’ obsession with materialism, money, war, sex as a weapon and Hummers. S/HE has no problem with environmental degradation (it’s not like S/HE created this world or anything). S/HE looks the other way when the U.S. government makes its decisions for short-term economic and political gain, rather than to remain in line with justice and a higher righteousness.
I appreciate your attempt to reclaim the word ‘redneck’ like gay people did with the word you used to throw at them before you beat them up. Tire irons, squirrel guns, and grit. Are you going after terrorists, or uppity Negroes? Get off of your high horse and come back down to Earth.
For real: This piece of work insults the intellect. It attempts to categorize as superior a group of by definition reactionary, ignorant and prejudiced people who base their supposed superiority on selfish, questionable, hypocritical and flawed arguments. The injustice is not that rednecks are misunderstood. It is that they misunderstand so much. (And do not even think you get to claim the word “y’all.” That is efficient, gender-inclusive language.) Thanks for reading, y’all.