One thing that I DON’T miss about teaching is dealing with students’ misguided attempts at self-defense and justice.
My momma says if someone hits me hit back!
That’s what our presidents say, too, it is commonly agreed upon.
Then again, Marvin Gaye said only love can conquer hate, and Dr. King said only light can drive out darkness and only love can drive out hate.
I say that’s right.
So-and-so called me gay! Blah blah blah, blah blah blah.
So? (First of all gay is not an insult) but why do you care so much what other people call you?
Ms. M, I’m sorry for…
So? I don’t like sorries, they waste my time. Just don’t do it next time.
As a teacher, it took a lot of thought and cough to learn these lessons:
When students lost their tempers, I had to keep mine even.
When students brought drama to me, I had to shake them with new perspective from a nightmare of self-centeredness.
When students raised their voices with me, I had to soften mine.
When students behaved disrespectfully, I had to praise and reward those who displayed respect…taking breaks to intervene when a fist met another’s head…yet still without anger.
I had to unlearn old and learn new for my sanity. I had to stop making so much noise and instead expel sighs and fake fall to the ground (inciting giggles), fall into my comfortable sarcasm (you just got told!), and let oxygen do its work—all on my checklist of ways to exceed expectation and make some sort of unique impression on malleable minds.
I recently listened to a coworker say tongue-in-cheek that Mookie didn’t take the wussy way out. So I reminded him tongue wagging that to practice peace takes more strength, determination and self-control than violence ever could. To defy physics takes deliberation and discipline but can offer more deliverance than a predictable reaction.
I’m Italian and I can get fiery fired up. That’s my nature. And I’ve been seeking a better one, a more nurturing one. Using fire as light, not destruction. Flexing a peaceful muscle to soften hard edges. In the end what’s the difference but hopefully needing only cover the mirrors when I die.